My inner critics are telling me this is not serious, and I am not a real artist. I don’t care. At the end of a not-stellar day, spending a couple hours on this was what settled me down and made me happy.
Make the art that feels right to you, critics be damned.
I am feeling a little sensitive today about whether or not I am a real painter who makes real art. Some of my inner critics managed to manifest in the outer world, where it’s a little harder to tell them to go into another room and shut up so I can contentedly play with my art materials.
I was actually annoyed at taking time to do the daily drawing today. That hasn’t happened too often, but I’ve had an attitude shift since taking February off. I think this is a decent depiction of my irritation.
The mood is compounded by my sense that the bountiful studio time I’ve had during the lockdown year is about to be broken up and broken into by the demands of a re-opening world. I am definitely worried about being able to hold my ground, so that I can keep doing this arty noodling which makes me so happy and content. It also coincides with the warmer weather, when the demands of house projects and garden eat into my art time. Then the days never seem long enough, and the things I want to do or have promised to do begin to crowd and jostle each other, and try to make their voices heard over all the other voices. In my dreams I would have them be a fine chorus singing in harmony, but usually it’s more like a shouting mob.
Well, it’s the end of my month off from the dailies, and I kind of missed them. But I’ve been busy making other art, never fear! I made a ridiculous number of little collages in the past week, which I will share with you here.
The two above are on 9″ x 12″ paper. I love how collage can engage playful intuition. I work on several at the same time, and think that I’m just responding to line and color, but then often find that they have drawn forth a little story or vignette.
This and the ones that follow are all smaller, about 4″ x 5″. They feel like curious little peeks into dreams or half-baked ideas.
I hope you found these enjoyable. I return to daily drawings tomorrow, if all goes as planned! Happy March!
February break continues. I’m not even painting lately, because it’s time for the February collage break. I should be able to post a few of those soon, they’re still in progress.
Meanwhile, here’s another character from the family DnD game. Meet Gertie Sable, a rock gnome with magical abilities. She’s irrepressibly curious and outgoing, and stowed away on the ill-fated voyage with the help of Demanda, who saw her as a potential friend and willing minion.
I really don’t enjoy making art digitally; I already spend too much time sitting at a computer. But for these game tokens, I’ve started filling in the backgrounds with fast and crappy digital brushwork. It’s possible I’ll learn how to use some of these tools just out of convenience!
In the absence of daily drawings, here’s a sample of what I’ve been playing with. These are portraits of characters in my current Dungeons and Dragons campaign. The above, Balance, is a Tiefling mercenary. Below, my character Demanda Cooper, a half orc barbarian, raised by her human mother who was determined that she would be a proper society lady.
There are a lot of people making great renderings of DnD characters, I am rather in awe of the art that’s out there. I present my efforts in the spirit of humble amusement.
It’s actually an update of 13 September 2020, you can go into the archive to see what it looked like when I originally posted it.
I am painting every day still, but it is taking some time to finish things out to my satisfaction. But it’s interesting to me to see what happens when I take the time to push them further. Where is the line between ‘done’ and ‘overworked’? The line between ‘fresh’ and ‘lazy’?
Oh and I’m taking studio time to also do non-painting projects. Maybe I’ll post some of those on the days between finished paintings…stand by!
This will be the last Daily for a while; I’m taking a break so I can focus on finishing other studio projects that have been piling up for months. I will post in February whenever I have something completed, which will hopefully be almost daily! My plan is to resume the Dailies in March, or when I’m caught up, whichever comes first.
February is Collage Party month! This year due to COVID-19 I won’t be having my usual in-studio gathering. Instead, I’ll host a zoom meet-up toward the end of the month, so anybody who wants to join in can show and talk about their work. Send me a message if you’re interested, and I’ll send you an invitation when the time comes!
I started this practice and this blog with intentionality, so if I change the practice I would like it to be equally intentional. So I’ve made a decision to continue making and posting dailies for the rest of January. Starting Feb 1, I will take a break from the dailies to finish that backlog of paintings that have been staring at me waiting to be finished to my satisfaction. I’ll continue to post, daily or nearly so, showing the finished pieces as they come. Once that’s cleared out, I expect to resume making and posting daily drawing/paintings.
Many thanks to everyone who follows me and supports my art, whether materially or with kind or amusing words. I can never properly express how important that has been in helping me pursue what I’ve really wanted to be able to do for most of my life, but didn’t think it was OK to spend all that time and money on it.
For anyone reading this, I hope you too get a chance to follow your dreams, and a web of community that helps and encourages you in doing it.
Sometimes a drawing or painting just won’t work, and I don’t have the patience to pull anything satisfying out of it. So for today. Muddy colors, marks increasing in impatience with each added layer. I would be embarrassed to show this to anyone, but the ‘rules’ of my daily practice say I show whatever I did in my studio time. So let this please be encouragement for you to not get hung up on perfection every time, to sometimes just go ahead and make a mess, and let that be your practice for that day. There will be other days. And who’s to say I didn’t learn anything by letting myself fail?