In studio for several hours, but never got around to addressing a blank page. Instead, I worked on this commissioned pet portrait, and upgrading the felt advent calendar my mother-in-law made (new buttons and embroidery numbers)
The years of habit don’t let go easily; though it was a relief not to push myself to fill a daily page, it also didn’t and doesn’t feel quite “right”. I think I will continue for a while to hold myself lightly but observe carefully. I don’t think I’ve found the right balance yet!
I so quickly fall back on the old feeling that I don’t know what to make, and have nothing to say, so nothing I do will be of any value. That is precisely the path that led me to stop making art altogether for so many years. My commitment to make something every day provided a way around that block, and showed me how illusory it actually was. So I’m a bit surprised to find how strongly it hits even now, if I give it half a chance!